I've tried to write a new entry for a couple of days now, but I tend to kill them just before launch. There's a couple problems:

1. I don’t want to write the standard "Life is normal. I feel great, job is great! Did a bunch of pages, and then went home and slept! I woke up and ate lunch! LUNCH!!! YESSSS!!!!!". At this point in my life, mundane genrealizations don't excite me (or you, for that matter). It’s positive, which is good, but it’s also uninteresting. I don’t want to write if I’m just filling space.

2. I don’t want to rant. I've started some entries that said nothing and some that degenerated into manifestoes about topics I shouldn't be writing about here, or anywhere. . Entries like that feel unbalanced, too negative to be worthwhile.

3. I could talk more about my life, but some things are better left private. Sorry.

So there you go. My blog has become a constant battle betweren something that might be interesting and something that would give too much of myself away.

Then again, I could also just ramble like I’m doing now. Hmm. There it is. I have an entry.

Have a good weekend,

A

NO IDEAS

I'm not the only person I know trying to write a novel in my free time. Stacy also has decided to try to write one, though it's not entirely clear where she got the idea. Just kidding. The guy who gave me this idea, Brian from sportsreviewers.com, is also wrinting, so I know I will have at least two people to guilt me into writing more often.

As for the process, the organizers recommended that authors spend October conceptulizing their novels. I'm late to this party, but I've spent the better part of two days trying to "conceptualize" what a novel written by me would be about. Unfortunately, I don't really visit my creative side of the brain too often for writing, so I'm basically drawing a blank on what any story should be about. Some of my early ideas frankly suck. I thought about a story centered around a newspaper, kinda like the movie the Paper? But that's been done. I thought maybe something sports related? But there are thousands of stories like that. I really don't know where to start. Somebody please help me out

Other than planning for my "novel," which will probably end up being a couple of short stories or even a novella. Life beyond that is going quite swimmingly although it appears I may not get to go home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas this year.

For the record: this would suck, since I don't get holiday pay like the other two copy editors (I'm the manager) and would be due more days off. I'd like to get home since I haven't been there since June, but I realize that the others on the desk would want to get to see their families too. One copy editor has already taken Thanksgiving, so maybe I could work a trade for Christmas where I work Turkey Day solo and he or the other copy editor works Christmas time solo. More details on that one later.

I'll write more in a bit...

A NOVELIST? ME?

A funny thing happened on the way on my way to insanity tonight... I had an revelation.

November is National Novel Writing Month. I have an online acquaintance who will be participating in the program, which challenges all budding authors/and non-authors for that matter to write a 50,000 word novel during the month.

Now I'll never be confused with Nick Hornby or John Grisham or even Jackie Collins, but it sounds like a way to channel some of my nervous energy rather than let it eat way at me. It might not be the best idea -- how on earth am I gonna write 50,000 words while working a full-time job? -- but maybe it's something I can try. I may never finish it, but who knows? Maybe I'll even have something that you guys might want to read.

Nah... that would be too presumptive of me.

TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A BONFIDE INSOMNIAC
One of my neighbors has this truck and every morning at 3 a.m. he revs his engine for about five minutes before leaving. How do I know this, because I'm probably the only person he bothers.

For the last few nights, I've had a lot of trouble getting to sleep. I guess my clock is a little screwed up from working the night shift at the paper and getting wound down from an exciting day of producing sports pages just takes longer than it used to. Anyone have any suggestions for getting to sleep? I could use some.

Well there goes my neighbor... maybe I'll try to get to bed too....but probably not.

A REAL GOOD GUY

I always said I've been in one place too long when I start looking at the obituaries and see someone I know. It finally happened in Anderson. The man's name was Gary and he was an older gentleman who hung out at Andrew's, the bar I play trivia at on Mondays. It was weird being in there without the funny man who controlled the TV in the corner, but when I got home last night, it made me think about some things.

Sure I've done a lot of neat things in my life, especially since I've moved from home, but have I done anything that defines who I am? The answer, to steal a line from an old musical. No, but I've got a lot of living to do.

Don't get me wrong. I like working in journalism. The money sucks, but it's truly a labor of love. I sit at my desk most nights and listen to all the people around me wish they were anywhere but the office. I'm not one of those types. I want the ball in the clutch time. I think I can make the big shot. But I don't think my job should define who I am. I'm not going to ever make a million dollars, but I like what I do -- for the most part. And yes, I want to work in racing. I get such a good feeling at the race track. I work so hard, but it feels like play. I've done it off and on for the last three years. I've had the kool-aid. There's no turning back.

I hope the few people who read this every day consider me to be a good friend. I hope people I meet think of me as a solid person with some faults. But most of all I wish I had told Gary he was a good guy. I wish I told him I liked talking to him about racing and Braves baseball. I thought it was funny that he heckled me about me football picks in the paper every week.

Everyone feels something about someone. You should make an effort to tell them that while there here...

Sorry to be so morbid today, I'll try to have a better entry tomorrow

NO NEWS = GOOD NEWS?

The Great Office Repair of 2002 is complete.

The phone hasn't rung at all today, which means a) they are happy with my work or b) BellSouth has decided to cut off my line. Since I am able to be online, I'll assume the answer is A. There will be no pictures of me fixing and painting the wall nor any pictures of the hole because the publisher doesn't like bad news, and you never know who is reading this. It really went quite smoothly -- though I think the patch was placed on backwards. Oh well. The next time I kick a hole in a wall (which will be never) I'll know how to get it repaired right (by the way... cost of the repair was less than $50)

On to other things...
I heard from my friend Casey, who has made it up to Massachusetts and is undergoing treatment for some silly disease that she's already beaten twice. Other than some doctors using her skeleton as a pin cushion, -- marrow biopsies sound like they hurt a lot -- she's doing as well as can be expected. She's 2-0 against cancer lifetime, so I'm betting on the favorite in this round too.

Other than that there's no news to report. I guess that's good. Until next time, take care

ACCEPTING RESPONSIBLITY

Yes, I put a hole in the wall. And yes, I am being "punished" for it. Hopefully everything will be all better by Monday. This weekend, I will be repairing the wall with help from some co-workers who will supervise. It seemed like the better option than paying someone to come in and repair, at least financially speaking -- I'm not gonna spend a whole paycheck for a contractor to do work I could do in a weekend. Hopefully all will turn out well.

In hindsight, maybe kicking a wall and punching file cabinets isn't the best way to show anger or frustration at the workplace. Sure, we're under a lot of pressure, but I need to learn how to control the old emotions better. Breaking stuff is not a very good example for the people I'm allegedly supposed to supervise -- after all I am the Asst. Sports Editor here. But if you were faced with the same situation, maybe you would have done the same.

Oh well, off to Home Depot to buy my materials...

GOOD DEEDS
Last night, I helped participated in a charity fundraiser with the American LeMans Series drivers and the Atlanta Falcons cheerleaders. It was a good time. I was about six or seven seconds slower than the pros (Bryan Herta and Ben Devlin were among fastest under 50 seconds) but as Ben told me, "At least you'll be faster than the cheerleaders."

It wasn't like last year, where we had an actual race. They just let you run some open sessions. I ran one with some media members and went back for more when Herta ran. He is so smooth, no wonder he's fast. The cheerleaders I talked to had a good time too. A lot of them aren't that familiar with racing, so when passing flags were shown to them, they'd just slow down.

My impressions from driving: I was much faster than I went last year. So much so, I was battling quite a bit of oversteer in most of the braking sections. I remembered my teammate told me that I may have been on the brakes too much to go fast, so I wasn't nearly as heavy with my left foot and tried to limit my turns with the throttle. I'm sure that if I ran at the track often than once a year I'd run faster. I was in position to pass a couple times, but got held up by the car in front. All in all. It was good times.

YES, I REALLY DID PUT THAT HOLE IN THE WALL

If you work at the Independent-Mail, you may notice a large circular hole near the sports department and platemaking. I plead guilty to putting the hole there, but it may be justified. How did it happen? Well, Thursday night was the annual Bowden Bowl, or Clemson vs. Florida State. Since we cover Clemson, it was a big night for us and we were expected to get everything in and we're under an edict to meet deadlines more consistantly.

Miracles happen and we made deadline for the first edition (Georgia). But that's when our troubles began. There was a problem with a headline that made one story disapear. When I didn't get a Clemson sidebar and a column from our sports editor by the deadline time, I went without it. This was about 12:15 a.m. That's when the real fun began.

At 12:45, the sports editor calls.
SE: "My new re-written column is in, finally. Can you get it in for OP? (our second edition, where Clemson is)
ME: "No, it's half an hour late, the plate is on the press.
SE: "Well how long will it take to resend it, so it can be on for the edition it matters?"

After that I slammed down the phone, twice, because it answered another call (from the FSU student writing the sidebar) when it bounced, and walked over to the nearest wall about two yards away, and kicked. My sandal went through the wall. I'm glad I was wearing shoes because it was more with my instep than with my toe.